March 16, 2013. Well I had a bunch of things typed out about this morning and I realized it would probably be a bit much to post publicly. So, I wrote it in my journal and here, I'll just say, it was a rough morning. Eventually, I was able to escape to my room and close the door so I laid in bed for about an hour and a half. I couldn't sleep but that's okay. I heard my host mom and Sona back out in the dinning room so I said a few Hail Mary's and emerged from my room to try and redeem myself. My host mother gave me some coffee and we just chatted for a while. Sona asked me about my mother and if I missed her. I said of course and I told my host mom that my mom wanted me to say "Thank you" to her for taking care of me. She laughed and said thank you back. I then got my album and showed Sona my entire family (including those not of blood relation but still family). She loved it. When we finished she said, "Y no novio?" (and no boyfriend?) I said I have one in the states and I got my iPad and showed them pictures. They said he's very good-looking and looks strong (don't I know!). They also said he looks hispanic so I told them he's Mexican lol. They loved him and talked a lot about how handsome he is :). Sona then asked why I'm here. I told her that I am going to be a teacher in literacy but right now, I'm learning Spanish and learning the culture here. My host mom explained that I'll be here for two years and Sona said, "You're going to be away from your boyfriend for two years?" (don't remind me..) I said yes, it's hard but I have my computer that we can talk on at the center where there's internet and on the phone I just got yesterday. She continued saying things and I would lose her quite a bit but there was mention that Nate's sister is my "cunada" which is sister-in-law. I said not yet! But they insisted :). Finally the subject changed (I think) and I was completely lost again. Hopefully it wasn't rude but I left for my room and studied with the door open. That half hour was good. I hope some confianza was gained. I shared my family and my purpose here and it did feel better. I'm still emotionally exhausted from earlier but the "Believe" on my wrist won't let me forget to do so.
Mental note: Don't play real solitaire when you're bored and depressed. Constantly losing something simple like a card game doesn't help :P
Again, I worked my way back outside where my host mom, Paola, Sona, and Jenny were. I sat in silence mostly but it felt okay. Sona told Jenny that I have a good-looking boyfriend haha. My host mom asked when the party was and where, I understood, and answered. Every once and a while, Jenny would say a word in English. So once I asked them if I could help peel the green beans from the tree that my host mom just chopped down, I asked her some questions. She only knows a little English because 13 years ago, she lived in the Bronx for two years. She hated it lol and English was too hard. She'd say one thing and then write another...etc. She talked slowly and clearly for me so of course, I was happy! Jimmy passed our house on a run. Lordy I wish I could do that; it would've done wonders this morning. They asked if I ran and I said I love to, but not here. My host mom said something about being skinny so I don't think she wants me to run lol. I feel better. At least I know now what it will feel like when I break down. It will be okay afterwards... Just need to get away for a bit, say a few prayers, write a few motivational phrases in my Spanish notebook (for future pages) and just go out to where you're uncomfortable. I feel closer to Jenny and Sona now and that's more important than a sob fest.
They then asked me if I knew how to play Dominoes. I think they were waiting for Julio to play but he wasn't showing up. I said a little, so they invited me to play! It was awesome :) They said I was going to be Jenny's partner so as I sat down across from her I said, "Lo siento." She laughed haha. We started playing and they went on and on how I knew how to play and I was good to go! A few minor things were different from when I learned at the training center but I was able to ask and figure them out. By the end of the two games, I had to go. I headed to the birthday party at Andy's and it was just what I needed. I feel closer to the group, I was distracted and had a lot of fun. We also made lots of bets and wrote them down (i.e. who is going to marry a Dominican, who within the group is going to get married, who is going to be pregnant first, who is going to get robbed first and who is going to get Dengue first). Somehow, I won the Dengue one. Awesome haha. I'm so loved here. I asked my host mother when I should be home and she said whenever. I got home around 11:30pm and she was up so she could lock the door behind me. I felt really bad and I hope that was alright :/ But she doesn't seem upset now (the next day) so I think we're good! Buenas noches :)
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