Hija y Tía

June 8, 2013. After being woken up at 5:30 by Moreno, I laid in bed awake until nearly 9. Dulce was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake her showering so I just stayed there. And... loved her a lot for sleeping in. We arose together but separately, I showered, and she said she was going up to visit her mom and simply said, "Ven" (come). She didn't ask if I wanted to join this time which would have been the norm; it was expected. And that felt wonderful. Like I was a part of the family who would of course go up without question. We walked por arriba and she said to her mom, "Look who I brought to visit!" Lol I was fed pasta and yuca by 10am and we sat and chatted. Dulce and Lili found mangoes, they made fun of me for not being an expert mango-peeler, and we watched pigeons fight over something for about 10 minutes. I interacted little but it wasn't so bad :). My feet got eaten up by mosquitoes but around 11:30, we headed back home. There was luz and I had dirty clothes! 

Dulce cooked and she actually let me help with my clothes! I rinsed and hung them to dry. I cleaned my room too which felt sooo good. I can't wait to have my own house to clean. Seriously mom, it's so therapeutic here cuz everything is so dirty allll the time lol. Halfway through my clothes, se fue la luz. So we ate, I read a bit, and then Moreno came home early and bought a beer for us to share. Llegó la luz so I finished up my clothes by my informal English class was supposed to start. The lady I spoke to yesterday was there and my girls (now 10 of them) were about an hour late. I gave the lady my English notebook and let her copy while I helped with her pronunciation. When the girls came we did a few things but then reviewed. I made Lili and Yoleni do a skit and they did super well! It was so cute :). 

Then Niño came! He's so freaking adorable (except for when he slaps me in the face really hard). Him and I pretty much played all day together as kids came and went. Dulce and I looked through some catalogues and the rains came hard. Two men stopped by to escape the floods and as they entered the house, Dulce introduced me as her hija (daughter) :D I can't tell you what that meant after being so unsure of how I was going to develop a relationship with a woman who was always coming and going (and fast) and always talking in, I swear it, another language (and fast). Niño (who is the son of Dulce's daughter) has also taken to calling me Tía (aunt). 

It hasn't even been a full month yet (which is an insane realization) and I'm starting to feel like a part of their family here. I can understand Dulce more. She let me help with my laundry. I interact more with her now. She called me her daughter and taught Niño to call me Aunt. Moreno and I have gotten to chatting more as well. And have had some pretty serious conversations. And he shared his beer with me :). So no, I didn't go abajo like I should have but damnit it was worth it. I worry myself so much when I think about how I don't want to have any regrets (so I have to do anything and everything RIGHT NOW). And the constant fight for bravery in my head blocks those seemingly insignificant moments which actually mean the world... I miss more than anything my own family back home and while this family here can't replace them, feeling a part of them provides a comfort I have definitely been missing. And while I can't wait to live on my own, I realized today that I'm not quite ready for that yet. And that's okay.

Buenas noches.