Tomorrow Is Saturday

May 31, 2013. It's incredible how fast things change on a day to day basis here... I awoke with my alarm, half-showered, and ate my cheese sandwich with hot chocolate. I arrived at school and Linda told me Ramona wasn't going to be there (the teacher of the third grade class). And the director wasn't there either. So I went in again with no plans but my question was, what would they have done if I wasn't there? Oh yea. They don't care. I told the kids they would get the prizes later and that we would do points again. This time it would be for more recess since I don't have money to always buy prizes. We then did a dínamica which was fun but they wanted to do Alele again so we did. I then tried to popcorn read a story from their Spanish workbooks and then do a mini lesson. Not so much... I lost control, the kids fought, talked back to me, and yea. Etc. Endy went to tell on another kid to Linda and she came in and started screaming at him. He screamed back. It got out of hand. And he didn't stop. Eventually as it started to rain, she came back in and sent one student (who was also causing me problems) home since he's been sick. She also sent the other home because of his behavior... That's not what I wanted... But again. I've got nothing. He was also one of the ones that was supposed to get a bigger prize from Wednesday. I gave up and just wrote words on the board for them to write sentences. My favorite. I told them I was sorry. That I wanted to teach better but I didn't have the Spanish and it was difficult for me. I was nearly in tears. I don't think they understood how I felt or why I was apologizing.

Recess. I just let them go. I then did a mini English lesson since I had no strength or idea of anything else. It went fine.  At around 10:45 it started to downpour. The kids all got their backpacks and wanted to leave but Linda and the other teacher said they should wait until it died down a little. The kids went wild. Running around. Screaming. Playing a game where you chase each other and slap the backs of each other's heads. Tripping one another. Etc. The two other teachers just sat in a room together and talked. I sat in another and pretty much became one of them. I just sat there; maybe stopping a few. But no matter what I said or did, there was no response from the kids. They were gone. And I just watched; numb.

At 11:20 the rain slowed and we left. Mayelin said she was going to go home, change, and come over but I told her I needed to rest... I went in my room and just laid in my bed before and after lunch. I didn't cry. I didn't read. I didn't play games on my iPad. Just stared and the zinc roof connecting the holes like constellations and wondered if I could get away with skipping the afternoon session on the other side. Hell, everyone else does it here.

So... I did. I came up with a Spanish lie (that I was sick and didn't have minutes to call her) for when I see the director next (ugh, this is horrible I know). In reality I still am not doing so hot with this stomach thing so it's not a complete lie. I put my mosquitera up, shut my door, and tried to sleep for the next two hours. It didn't work but it felt pretty good. I could hear the kids screaming from the school. Crazy. Eventually I went out. Lili was there, niño, his mother, Dulce, Alex, and Samuel. The kids and I played cards a bit but I kept having to excuse myself to the bathroom. Then I would lay in bed a bit more until I got strength back to go out. Mayelin came too at one point so I gave her the prize that I didn't give earlier. She loved it and it lights up which I didn't know lol. Then for the next hour and a half I chatted with niño's momma (she's my age), she couldn't believe I was going to be living here for two years, and we watched Eddi play with the electrical wires. Apparently something was wrong in two spots which is why we didn't get luz today when everyone else did. He climbed trees, I saw sparks, he cut wires lol. It was crazy but he did it! 

Dulce made me dinner, I showered, and am heading to bed. Tomorrow's Saturday which is wonderful and next week are exams so I won't have to worry about teaching anymore. Gracias a Dios. Now I need to focus on what I'm going to do with the summer camp. Cuz I'll have a lot of those kids that have given me lots of trouble... And I gotta start making materials from... Stuff?  lol. Sorry about another depressing post. Tomorrow will be better. To help, see below for an adorable baby photo (totally can't remember what day this was from so I decided to put it here because she's so beautiful and I need some beauty for this day :) ). Buenas noches.